Sp@mmer Training Academy

Sp@mmer Training Academy

21:01:49 Jul 31st 08 - Prince Waldorfius Septim III:

[[NOTICE: Please don't delete this mods, I am not training people to put lame, stupid cr@p in their posts, I'm training people to turn their lame, stupid cr@p into somewhat entertaining posts...the difference between good and bad sp@m is quite large...]]

On the planet of Spamon a large academy rests. Ghosts of long dead sp@mmers whisper beneath the walls, but those ghosts were men long ago, and had long since faded into dust, the last to be trained within the walls disappeared long ago, but now he was returning.

A man with an oak cane walked through the forest towards the academy, his hair white not from age, but from his species. His line was of Cidellian history, and all Cidellian men had white hair from birth.
"It's been too long," said the man as he reached the first step, he crouched and felt the cold stone underneath his fingers.
"Far too long," he added.
The man got up and walked up the steps, he reached the top and a large stone door stood in his way.
"Groto Sp@malot demana yuv ovoth!" yelled the man.
"Whuva geto therono?" asked a mysterious voice that seemed no louder than a whisper.
"Sept-Im," replied the man, "Te Goro ofoth Sp@m!"
"Sept-Im," whispered the voice, the large stone door opened and Septim walked into the pyramid. Inside were several statues of long gone legends, Senturu, Efrandor, Arien, all lost in time. Septim smiled, he wished to some day have a statue as well. Septim walked down the long halls, seeing statues of other great sp@mmers, before reaching a well sized room with a large desk towards the rear, on each side stood a flag, one with the Visual Utopian flag, one with the sp@mmer flag. Septim sat down behind the desk and awaited his first pupils.

21:12:37 Jul 31st 08 - Prince Waldorfius Septim III:

Septim's Book of Sp@m
by Septim

Chapter 1: Good and Bad sp@m

In order to tell good sp@m from bad sp@m, one must judge the reaction to the post. If the reaction is a "LMAO" or "ROFLMAO", then it is good sp@m, but if it's a "*beep*" or "Dude...GTFO", then it is bad sp@m, there are some people who don't like sp@m...period, those people are called a-holes, ignore them (telling the difference between a-holes and normal forum users is important, if an a-hole tells you to GTFO, then flame him! :D). If you post bad sp@m, do not post material of that humor type again.

Example:

Mr. Bob
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1/44/0000 1:31:03 AM *Bob comes in and farts on Jim's face for making a boat suggestion.

Mr. Good Burger

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WHO CARES U are a *beep*, *beep*, yo mama was a retarded footsucker.

Good Burger is obviously an a-hole, for Bob's reason for farting on Jim's face was done for a good reason, but if somebody farts in some guy's face for asking an honest question, then it is bad sp@m. In order to be a sp@mmer you must be able to tell the difference.

21:22:31 Jul 31st 08 - Prince Waldorfius Septim III:

Chapter 2: Grammar and Spelling

Grammar and spelling both play an important role in sp@mming the forums. If you can't spell, people will find your posts less funny. If you use incorrect grammar, people might not be able to tell what the hell you are saying, example:

Mr. Orbitz

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WHO CARES lol u crp hobo hahaha

Obviously he has a dirty mouth, I can't even tell what he meant to say...and I wrote it. I am guessing he meant to say "You are a crappy hobo, hahaha", but he obviously didn't pass kindergarden, and naturally could not spell what he meant to say. That makes his post unfunny in my book, but it could attract a few funny flames and thus make you laugh anyway. Make sure that you use decent spelling and grammar, it does not have to be perfect, as I know I have quite imperfect posts. Another thing, never spell like that while in the roleplaying forum, it's simply not right!

21:24:06 Jul 31st 08 - Dark Lord Osiris:

i declare war on the sp@mmers

21:26:10 Jul 31st 08 - Prince Waldorfius Septim III:

Septim rises from his chair and gasps.
"Well, this is a war destined to fail...he's a moderator! And he didn't capitalize "I", this is an outrage! I didn't even have time to teach a class! See you on the battlefield!"

21:27:20 Jul 31st 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

Dangit I KNEW Osi would do this and you cant just declare war on the sp@mmers. Make a new topic for your war and dont ruin the Academy.... please....do you really want another Arvious around? Lack of training causes that. XD

22:05:55 Jul 31st 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

It's also funny Osi....as Septim was making this we were talking on MSN about how Sp@mmers seem an endangered species here. Septim said that Seloc is like Obi-Wan, and he is like Yoda, while I am Luke. We were thinking of a Darth Vader when you posted XD

We must bring back the days where Sp@mmers were as numerous as the cans of sp@m!

22:16:32 Jul 31st 08 - Dark Lord Osiris:

Sp@mmers shouldnt be endangered, they should be extinct.

22:43:11 Jul 31st 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

Havnt you read anything Septim has written here? I dont think it's bad at all....

22:47:30 Jul 31st 08 - Mr. Arvious VI:

Sir Charley Statler

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7/31/2008 2:27:20 PM Dangit I KNEW Osi would do this and you cant just declare war on the sp@mmers. Make a new topic for your war and dont ruin the Academy.... please....do you really want another Arvious around? Lack of training causes that. XD
...

23:09:22 Jul 31st 08 - Dark Lord Osiris:

sp@m is pure annoying. i am going on a crusade soon :) any and all retarded pics that dont belong in threads are gone, annoying facepalms for example. your reign of terror is ova!

23:21:46 Jul 31st 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

Dark Lord Osiris

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7/31/2008 6:09:22 PM
sp@m is pure annoying. i am going on a crusade soon :) any and all retarded pics that dont belong in threads are gone, annoying facepalms for example. your reign of terror is ova!

Wth are you talking about???? Those are the trolls like Cobra. We just make funny responses....We dont post pictures. (well...I dont anymore) me and Septim are like...the only sp@mmers left....those other people are not....we teach the good art of Sp@m. Not the misused kind.

@Arvious- You know you were out of control when you were Plato so do not deny it >_> I was also bad when I decided to hate you back then but I learned quickly.....especially when I was called your multi -_-

@Septim - We need like...a list of what Sp@mmers do....not that trash that insults our name and is mistaken for us....

23:29:01 Jul 31st 08 - Mr. Facepalm:

Dark Lord Osiris

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7/31/2008 3:09:22 PM
sp@m is pure annoying. i am going on a crusade soon :) any and all retarded pics that dont belong in threads are gone, annoying facepalms for example. your reign of terror is ova!

Why does everyone hate me :[

23:29:51 Jul 31st 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

O_o whoa.....jeez....Osi man...you hurt this boys feelings.....APOLIGIZE!!!

23:30:39 Jul 31st 08 - Prince Waldorfius Septim III:

Demonic Shezmu

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5/12/2007 2:24:05 PM hurray Carrothian Beer, yay! Abydos! :P

/me slaps Senturu a whole lot with a gigantic pink whale!

Lord Senturu

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5/12/2007 2:55:01 PM
/me slaps shezmu with a 2x4

i kill u with SPLINTERS

"Tell me that wasn't hilarious...splinters...*giggle*"

23:36:51 Jul 31st 08 - Prince Waldorfius Septim III:

"We are not bad sp@mmers, we are good sp@mmers. Bad sp@mmers are the ones who flood your inbox with e-mails saying "Free penis enlargement pills" and "Click here for a free PS3!", we are not those people. We are the ones who make funny remarks, we are the ones who use proper grammar. Had I not been around, the roleplaying forums would be more obscure than they are right now. Go down the list of threads and tell me how much I love these forums."

23:42:43 Jul 31st 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

As a knight of Sp@m, I must say that Septim is a fanatic in the RP forums -_- I am also planning on being here for awhile.....so if you group us all together.....then I could do that for plenty of things.....like...all VU players are the same....or all people in a certain kingdom are ghey.....think about it...jeez

00:15:53 Aug 1st 08 - Prince Waldorfius Septim III:

Chapter 3 - Activity

A sp@mmer doesn't have to be active all the time, contrary to popular belief, they must, however, post in a wide variety of threads. A sp@mmer who posts in only one forum is not a sp@mmer at all. But, good sp@mmers do not post in millions of threads, only a wide variety, if you post stupid things in every thread you are likely to be banned.

00:38:33 Aug 1st 08 - Mr. Arvious VI:

Oh thought you were talking about right now.

00:56:11 Aug 1st 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

Nah....you have gotten quiet lately.....kind of worrying -_-

01:01:39 Aug 1st 08 - Mr. Arvious VI:

I have no clue what you're talking about....

01:07:04 Aug 1st 08 - Lord Griffinwing:

holy crappa's grandma!

01:07:14 Aug 1st 08 - Lord Griffinwing:

kinda like that?

01:14:51 Aug 1st 08 - Mr. Arvious VI:

You didn't capitalize the first words of your setences!

01:36:38 Aug 1st 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

Mr. Arvious VI

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7/31/2008 8:14:51 PM You didn't capitalize the first words of your setences!
Grammar error -_- and you should sign up for classes -_- Septim would be the teacher....I passed already =p

01:40:16 Aug 1st 08 - Mr. Arvious VI:

I was about to correct you for not putting in a period at the end, but I have bigger things to do then flame you.

01:45:10 Aug 1st 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

I put enough periods in between my sentences =p My smilies count as periods!

01:53:44 Aug 1st 08 - Mr. Facepalm:

Neither of you guys are smart when it come to grammar so don't lecture each other on it.

01:59:14 Aug 1st 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

Mr. Facepalm

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7/31/2008 8:53:44 PM Neither of you guys are smart when it come to grammar so don't lecture each other on it.
You have an extra space between "come" and "to" so hush. -_- You have no room either.

01:59:38 Aug 1st 08 - Mr. Arvious VI:

You had 2 spaces between your come and to. Yelling at us for grammar, yeesh...

02:00:05 Aug 1st 08 - Mr. Arvious VI:

Damn, 24 seconds before me...

02:01:35 Aug 1st 08 - Sir Charley Statler:

You could have just edited and saved yourself the trouble. ☺

Oh great, now all this talking is making the Academy look bad. Either join it or stop posting here on grammar. O_o

02:11:18 Aug 1st 08 - Prince Waldorfius Septim III:

*rubs his eyes*

02:36:03 Aug 1st 08 - Lord Scientist:

[[Allow me to do this in roleplay form, since this is the roleplay forum]]

*Scientist walks into the room where a crowd is gathering around Septim as he speaks of good and bad sp@m*

"Now what do we have here, back to our old ways Septim. I thought I'd run you out of the sp@mming business a long time ago"

*Scientist walks into the middle of the group and stands next to Septim*

"I have here a list of rules for the forums of Visual Utopia. And I do declare that this entire class is to be dismissed due to it violating one of the rules."

*Scientist holds up the list which reads as follows:

[[TAKE NOTE HERE]]

General guidelines:

Posts must add content to the discussion.
No pointless criticism
Explain or caption pictures if they do not explain themselves
Don't avoid the bad word filter to use bad words
Try to contribute to the topic. Avoid one-liners and sp@m.
No advertising
Don't make rules for your thread unless it's some type of game, poll, etc.
Write in english
Don't make fun of other players in the game unless it's about their in-game role-playing character,

*Scientist lowers the list*

"Now all those who decide to take note of Septims bad advice will be subject to deleted posts and depending on the frequency of their crimes, being banned from the forums of VU"

*Scientist walks up to the door and seals it*

"This place is on lockdown!! Thank you and goodnight!"

[[Sorry Septim, rules say no sp@m, so you teaching people to sp@m correctly is just a major NO!]]

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